Thursday, August 18, 2011

Strippers, rivers of wine, beer volcanoes and other strange tales...

The other day we learned that Pascal's Wager can be seen as more relevant to Muslims than to the majority of Christians for whom it was coined.
Today I posit the theory that Bobby Henderson's 2005 creation (designed to encourage the Kansas State Education Board to reconsider their decision to allow Intelligent Design to be taught alongside evolution in public schools' science classes) is again an equally, if not more, useful parody when applied to the Islamic faith than to dunder-headed Christian fundamentalists . Let me explain...

Let us look first at the FSM heaven which consists, as all adherents know, of a beer volcano and a stripper factory (as seen in this beautiful illustration below...) 
(picture from, with thanks...)

So very different from what is promised to the faithful Muslims...
Verily for those who follow Us, there will be a fulfillment of your desires: enclosed Gardens, grapevines, voluptuous full-breasted maidens of equal age, and a cup full to the brim of wine.  78:31 (as seen in this passable painting below...)
Islamic Paradise - Houris not strippers and wine not beer...

And what of the FSM position on evolution itself and the fossil proofs thereof?
Well, we all know that the evidence for evolution was planted by the Flying Spaghetti Monster in an effort to test Pastafarians' faith and that when scientific measurements such as radiocarbon dating are taken, the Flying Spaghetti Monster "is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage".

But how do Muslims deal with the awkward evidence of evolution? Here's a typical response from's pages on why evolution is all lies:
"...the theory of evolution constitutes the underpinnings of a dishonest philosophy that has held sway over a great number of people [...] The theory of evolution constitutes the so-called scientific foundation of materialism that the communist ideology depends on. [...] Science has disproved and continues to disprove the materialist hypothesis that recognises the existence of nothing but matter and it demonstrates that all beings are the products of creation by a superior being.[...] The fossil record refutes evolution"
So there we have it. Must be that blasted spaghetti monst...sorry Allah.

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