Sunday, June 17, 2012

Does Allah have a sense of humour?

One of the few reasons why I am proud to be English is Monty Python.
As I was watching the Meaning of Life last night, it struck me that if God does exist (which he doesn't) then he must surely have a sense of humour - if for no other reason than he designed our bodies.
So let us rejoice in the sheer lunatic brilliance of Palin et al as they precisely and mercilessly dissect the preposterous idea of  a merciful God  torturing his flock, who in turn spend their precious lives bowing and scraping and toadying to this sadistic creation...and thank our lucky stars we live in a society where we are free to make and watch such brilliance...and perhaps in turn give a passing thought to Alexander Aan jailed for 30 months in Indonesia for saying on Facebook that God doesn't exist
Oh Lord, please don't burn us! Don't kill or toast your flock! Don't put us on the barbecue, or simmer us in stock! Don't braise or bake or boil us or fry us in a wok! Oh please don't lightly poach us, or baste us with hot fat! Don't fricasse or roast us or boil us in a vat. And please don't stick your servants, Lord in a Rotisomat!
And let us not forget that Muslims reading this have to believe they will pass through Hell, however perfect a life they have led: There is not one of you who will not go down to it (Hell); that is settled and decided by the Lord. 19:72.
That would be the same most merciful of all who are merciful Lord, would it? Hmmm.


  1. You are proud to live in a country which allows insults to God?

  2. That was my point, Anon. I am inordinately proud to live in a country where we are free to say God is a despotic sadist or that he doesn't in fact exist.

    1. Surely you only insult yourself, for God cannot be insulted. We Muslims believe that God would fill hell with those of mankind who have chosen to blaspheme and intentionally scarred the religious knowledge with lies associating with Him, most gracious and great. You are not even an ant in the grand picture.... you only seek to ruin your self for you will not have a pleasant after life. In Islam, which is the religion of Jesus Christ and David, this life and its glitters are all but fleeting. Wealth and sons, fame, power, carnal pleasures and money are glitters of the life of this world with which he tests who is the most steadfast. The order of your creation, rain, universe, life, nature, gravity, attraction and reproduction make a wandering eye return in humility, for science is not man's invention its mere discovery. Whether you believe or not remember this... " what if he is and you were wrong! could you undo your un-doings for he is most severe in punishment" and to those who repent , the most merciful and kind. The biblical line that every soul shall go to hell is a concoction of the olden times when priests sold pardons...

    2. Dear Anon,
      I love your dismissal of this life's "carnal pleasures" whilst choosing to forget that your heaven seems to consist of ... er... carnal pleasures.
      Yet another reason why Islam is obviously the creation of a man.

  3. Well I am proud to live in a country where there is freedom of expression.

  4. Freedom to insult our maker is not real freedom.

  5. Did Muhammad respect other peoples' gods? Is not the greatest insult to another religion, the actual physical destruction of their symbols of worship?

    When Muhammad invaded Mecca did he not pull all the Meccan god idols to the ground and smash them? Would that not have been insulting to the people and their gods?
    Sahih Bukhari 3:43:658 The Prophet entered Mecca and there were 360 idols around the Kaaba. He started stabbing the idols with a stick he had in his hand and reciting: "Truth has come and Falsehood has vanished."

    After securing Mecca did he not send Khalid to destroy the temples of 'Uzza, Suwa, and Manat of the neighbouring tribes, which I'm sure would have been quite insulting to the worshippers?

    In the Qur'an does Muhammad (Allah) not call other gods 'false' who lead their followers into darkness? Is that not insulting their gods?
    Q2:257 ... As for those who disbelieve, their patrons are false deities. They bring them out of light into darkness. Such are rightful owners of the Fire. They will abide therein.

    Imagine you turning that verse around and stating it as follows in an Islamic country:
    " ... As for Muslims, their Allah and prophet are false who lead them into darkness. They will be going to hell to burn forever."

    Do you not think such a statement would be considered blasphemous and warrant the death penalty?

    Muhammad recommended the insulting of non-Muslims in Shahih Muslim.
    SM 31:6081 Allah's Messenger said: Satirise against the non-believing, for the satire is more grievous to them than the hurt of an arrow. So he sent for Hassan b. Thabit who said: Now you have called for this lion who strikes the enemies with his tail. I shall tear them with my tongue as the leather is torn.

    Satire against the non-believers would have definitely entailed the insulting of their gods and way of worship. Do you not think that what is good for the goose, should also be good for the gander?

    Muhammad was always keen on insulting the non-believers, calling them deaf, dumb and blind, lower than cattle, like dogs, pigs and apes. This, only because they worshipped other gods. In a way calling them such is also insulting their gods because to be a deaf, dumb dog was solely a result of the god they worshipped.

    So why do you revere Muhammad who insulted other peoples' gods yet you take offence when Muhammad's god is insulted. All gods are equal. There is the same amount of proof for every single one of them - None. So if Muhammad can insult those gods that aren’t his then don’t you think everyone should have the equal opportunity to insult his?

    If you do not agree, I’d like to know why.

  6. @Azim

    nice one dude

  7. Any quotes taken out of context can and will easily mislead those who read them and naively believe without question. It is the responsibility of those who highlighted these quotes to provide the full picture to their readers – if they truly care about telling the truth. By highlighting only the above verse, you “managed” to build the case that Allah is all about punishing the mankind. If you have no intention to hide anything from your readers, you would have extracted a fuller translation.

    Anyway, for those who do want to know, some verses from Chapter 19 describe about people who don’t believe in Allah’s ability to raise them up again after their death (the same people who deny that they were created by Allah and would rather believe their ancestors were ape – so who created the apes by the way?), so these people and others including those who believe in Allah will be raised up and gathered on one terrain on the Judgment Day and all of them will have to pass over a metaphorical bridge à so the translation is actually PASS OVER not GO DOWN and “it” refers to the metaphorical bridge not hell. Hell has been described to be under this bridge, so those don’t believe will eventually fall into it and others who believe will be saved.

    I chose not to quote anything, rather I just summarized part of the content of Chapter 19. To quote blindly without understanding makes us no different than a parrot mimicking speeches just because it can.    

  8. ثم ننجي الذين اتقوا ونذر الظالمين فيها جثيا
    Then We will save those who feared Allah and leave the wrongdoers within it, on their knees.
    Atleast get your facts right...