Judgement day 2012 - Forty signs of the Apocalypse

Herewith 40 signs of the imminent Apocalypse from the hadith (according to one Muslim) to look out for today.
Good luck everyone and enjoy your eternity in Paradise if you've been good!
(I particularly like #30 and shall be keeping my eyes peeled...!)

1. Naked, destitute, barefoot shepherds will compete in building tall buildings.

2. The slave-woman will give birth to her master or mistress.

3. A trial (fitnah) which will enter every Arab household.

4. Knowledge will be taken away (by the death of people of knowledge), and ignorance will prevail.

5. Wine (intoxicants, alcohol) will be drunk in great quantities.
6. Illegal sexual intercourse will become widespread.

7. Earthquakes will increase.

8. Time will pass more quickly.

9. Tribulations (fitan) will prevail.

10. Bloodshed will increase.

11. A man will pass by the grave of another and wish he was in the latter’s place.

12. Trustworthiness will be lost, i.e. when authority is given to those who do not deserve it.

13. People will gather for prayer, but will be unable to find an imam to lead them.

14. The number of men will decrease, whilst the number of women will increase, until for every man there are 50 women.

15. The Euphrates will reveal a treasure of gold, and many will die fighting over it, each one hoping to be the one who gains
the treasure.

16. The Romans (Europeans) will come to a place called A’maq or Wabiq, and an army of the best people will go forth from Madinah to face them.

17. The Muslim conquest of Rome.

18. The Mahdi (guided one) will appear, and be the Imam of the Muslims.

19. Jesus Christ will descend in Damascus, and pray behind the Mahdi.

20. Jesus will break the cross and kill the swine, i.e. destroy the false christianity.

21. The Antichrist (al-masih al-dajjal, the false christ) will appear, with all his tools of deception, and be an immense trial. He will be followed by 70,000 Jews from Isfahan (present-day Iran).

22. The appearance of Ya’juj and Ma’juj (Gog and Magog), and the associated tribulations.

23. The emergence of the Beast from the Earth, carrying the Staff of Moses and the Seal of Solomon, who will speak to the people, telling them they did not believe with certainty in the Divine Signs.

24. A major war between the Muslims (including Jews and Christians who truly believe in Jesus after his return) led by the Imam Mahdi, and the Jews plus other non-Muslims led by the Antichrist. 

25. Jesus will kill the Antichrist at the gate of Ludd (Lod in present-day Israel, site of an airport and a major Israeli military base).

26. A time of great peace and serenity during and after the remaining lifetime of Jesus.

27. Wealth will come so abundant that it will become difficult to find someone to accept charity.

28. Arabia will become a land of gardens and rivers.

29. Society will then decay.

30. The buttocks of the women of the tribe of Daws will again sway in circumambulation (tawaf) around the idol Dhul-Khulsah.

31. A great fire in the Hijaz, seen by the inhabitants of Busra.

32. Three major armies will sink into the earth: one in the east, one in the west, one in Arabia.

33. An Abyssinian leader with thin shins will destroy the Ka’bah.

34. The huge cloud of smoke.

35. The sun will rise from the west (its place of setting).

36. A gentle wind which will take the souls of the believers.

37. There is no-one left on the earth saying, "Allah, Allah" or "There is no god except Allah."

38. Eventually the Day of Judgment is established upon the worst of the people, who copulate like donkeys in public.

39. The blowing in the Trumpet by the Angel Israfil, upon which everyone will faint except as Allah wills.

40. The second blowing in the Trumpet, upon which everyone will be resurrected

Expanding Universe predicted in Qur'an?

If only Allah could explain it so clearly!

with thanks to scienceblogs.com

وَالسَّمَاء بَنَيْنَاهَا بِأَيْدٍ وَإِنَّا لَمُوسِعُونَ (
51:47)

Waalssamaa banaynaha biaydin wainna lamoosiAAoona

51:47 (Asad) AND IT IS We who have built the universe with [Our creative] power; and, verily, it is We who are steadily expanding it. 

51:47 (Y. Ali) With power and skill did We construct the Firmament: for it is We Who create the vastness of pace.

51:47 (Picktall) We have built the heaven with might, and We it is who make the vast extent (thereof).

The above ayat, it is claimed by miracle seekers, foreshadows the modern notion of the expanding universe. 
I have given the Arabic and the transliteration because it is important to understand the claim in detail which rests upon the word لَمُوسِعُونَ  or  lamoosiAAoona. 

You will note that Asad's 1980 translation renders the idea as "we are expanding it" and it is this translation, perhaps more than any other, that has led some Muslims to see a miraculous scientific knowledge in the Qur'an and helped them to foster the idea that thus Islam is superior to other faiths.

But is this translation justifiable? Is there anything in the original Arabic to suggest that God is STILL expanding or stretching out the heavens? Or does the verse simply and more prosaically tell us that He has stretched out the heavens for us - much like the various verses in the Bible which refer, suspiciously, to the very same thing.

For if we turn to Isiah we can read almost exactly the same idea.
Isaiah, chapter 42: 5:
‘This is what God the Lord says—he who created the heavens and STRETCHED THEM OUT, who spread out the earth and all that comes out of it, who gives breath to its people, and life two those who walk in it’ 

So when we find Arabic dictionaries translating لَمُوسِعُونَ  or  lamoosiAAoona as "stretcher - noun", those without a desperate need to find miracles simply assume the most likely explanation for one of the most infamous verses in the Qur'an is that Muhammad was inspired by the Jewish scriptures.

Indeed, we might claim that rather than proving the miraculous nature of the Qur'an, 51:47 is yet more proof that the author of the Qur'an used Jewish and Christian myths and writings for the basis of his revelation.

PS It is interesting to note that some Islamic sites still refer to the Qur'an miraculously referring to the Big Crunch in the ayat:
"That Day We will fold up heaven like folding up the pages of a book. As We originated the first creation so We will regenerate it. It is a promise binding on Us. That is what We will do". (Qur'an, 21:104)
How do they explain that the Big Crunch has since been discredited, I wonder? 

Islam and the belief in Jinns

 
There are many things that Muslims are obliged to believe that defy common sense and contradict scientific knowledge. The problem arises from having to take the Qur'an as the literal, uncreated word of God. Thus when Christians read of Old Testament prophets living to hundreds of years old and fathering children in their dotage, of a man being swallowed by a fish and living in its belly for three days, or of Adam and Eve... they can take such stories as allegories if they wish, whereas Muslims MUST take every word as true if Mohammad happened to include it in the Revelation.  

One of the more bizarre of these beliefs is that sprites or spirits called Jinns exist. It doesn't take a great leap of imagination to see where stories of evil desert spirits playing havoc with the Bedouin's possessions may have originated. Anyone who has spent any time in the desert will be familiar with the mini twisters that seem to erupt for no reason. If you have never witnessed one, please play the video...  And yet many Muslims seem to delight in the stories of these super-natural creatures. Some have created whole websites devoted to explaining their origins and powers .  

These creatures, according to Islamic belief as written in the Qur'an and reliable hadith, have the following characteristics:
 i. Allah created them from a special smokeless fire (And the jinns did He create from a smokeless flame of fire. (55:16)
ii. They will go to Hell in the same was as men, if they are bad or fail to believe in Allah (And surely, We have created many of the jinns and mankind for Hell. They have hearts wherewith they understand not, they have eyes wherewith they see not, and they have ears wherewith they hear not (the truth). They are like cattle, nay even more astray; those! They are the heedless ones) 7:179. This verse is also interesting in that it tells us that the merciful Allah creates people (and jinn) specifically to go to Hell where presumably Allah will delight in burning the skins off their back for eternity...
iii. The jinn were created for no purpose other than to worship Allah - just like humans... (And I (Allâh) created not the jinns and humans except they should worship Me (Alone).) 51:56
iv. Some of the jinn are Muslims and some are unbelievers (And of us some are Muslims (who have submitted to Allâh, after listening to this Qur'ân), and of us some are Al-Qâsitûn (disbelievers those who have deviated from the Right Path)'. And whosoever has embraced Islâm (i.e. has become a Muslim by submitting to Allâh), then such have sought the Right Path.") 72:14 Note that in the above ayat the jinn are quoted directly. That is because surah 72  (Al -jinn) is devoted to a description of what a small group of jinn said to Muhammad Say (O Muhammad: "It has been revealed to me that a group (from three to ten in number) of jinns listened (to this Qur'ân). They said: 'Verily! We have heard a wonderful Recital (this Qur'ân)!   From this surah we also learn that the jinn bizarrely deny God ever had a wife or kids: And exalted be the Majesty of our Lord, He has taken neither a wife, nor a son 72:3 So the jinn also seem to share the misapprehension that the Christians believe God married Mary to sire Jesus... Presumably the jinn quoted in the Qur'an a) heard a pre-publication copy of the book they themselves appear in b) were all Muslim jinn and not the unbeliever sort. So Muslims are asked to believe that the pagan Bedouin belief in evil sprites that obviously originated in the desert dwellers' fear of the strange noises and phenomena of the desert are in reality an important part of their supposedly monotheistic religion.

When are the intelligent, intellectually curious Muslims going to rise up and start to question this gibberish?

How to translate the Qur'an

In his 2011 book, Is That a Fish in Your Ear? - The Amazing Adventure of Translation, David Bellos, director of Princeton University's Program in Translation and Intercultural Communication, quotes St.Jerome "who translated the Bible into Latin and subsequently became the patron saint of translators", and who in a letter to his friend Pammichius, tried to counter criticisms of translations he had done so far:

Ego enim non solum fateor, sed libera voce profiteor me in interpretatione Graecorum absque sripturis sanctis ubi et verborum ordu mysterium est non verbum e verbo sed sensum exprimere de sensu

A translation of the above might read:

Thus I not only confess, but of my own free voice proclaim, that apart from translations of sacred scriptures from the Greek, where even the order of the words is a mysterium, I express not the word for the word, but the sense for the sense

Verbum e verbo can be considered synonymous with literal translation whilst sensum exprimere de sensu "to express the sense from the sense" equates to free translation. Jerome proclaims he doesn't do literal (word-for-word) translations except when translating sacred scriptures from the Greek (which is what he did, of course, most of the time!)
We might guess that Jerome feels uncomfortable giving a "free" translation when he feels the weight of the sacred on his shoulders. The mysterium of God's words, if you like, hinders him.

I wonder, do the translators of the Qur'an feel the same debilitating shadow of Allah falling across the page when they sit down to render the "actual words of God", as Muslims claim the Qur'an to be? How much of the Qur'an is simply "untranslatable", as some scholars and many Islamic apologists would have us believe?

Later in the same book, Bellos has a chapter entitled What Can't be Said Can't be Translated: The Axiom of Effability, whose main thrust can be summarised as follows:

One of the truths of translation - one of the truths that translation teaches - is that everything is effable.

By which he means that everything that is in a language can be translated into another language. Let us take the example used by Bellos to illustrate his point. A crew having returned from a space flight are holding a press conference. They have something spectacular to announce. They have encountered another civilisation and have learned the language of the extra-terrestrials.
"What did they have to say?" ask the excited journalists.
"We can't tell you that", reply the astronauts."Their language is entirely untranslatable"
It's not hard to imagine the response of the journalists, says Bellos.

So whilst we may freely admit that it's possible that the Qur'an's style is inimitable and impossible to render into a foreign language, the content or meaning cannot be ineffable just because it's in classical Arabic. Unless, that is, the original made no sense in places to start with.

To help us understand, let us return to Jerome's confession, but to an alternative translation of the Latin by a canon of Canterbury Cathedral:

For I myself not only admit but freely proclaim that in translating from the Greek (except in the case of the holy scripture where even the order of the words is a mystery) I render sense for sense, not word for word.

Bellos puts it in an even "slacker style" as he has it: I only translate word for word where the original - even the word order - is a complete mystery to me. What the canon is suggesting therefore is that Jerome sometimes can't understand a bloody word of what he's been asked to translate and on those occasions simply translates the words in isolation - much like a bad google translate.

Surely the actual words of God, as spoken by the Angel Gabriel to Muhammad and repeated by him and transcribed perfectly so that not a dot has changed in over 1, 400 years, don't provide equal difficulties for translators though...? And if they do, how have translators coped. Have they gone down the Jerome route and simply translated what they read, despite the fact it makes no sense?

In the case of the utterly confusing changes in pronoun which quranic "scholars" have had to invent a whole new stylistic terminology for  (ilifat) so as to justify it,, it seems the answer is yes

6:99. It is HE who sends down water from the sky, and with it WE bring forth vegetation of all kinds…

And it's the same for the infamous verse which appears to prohibit believers from being dutiful to their parents and not killing their children:

6: 151. Say: "Come, I will recite what your Lord has prohibited you from: Join not anything in worship with Him; be good and dutiful to your parents; kill not your children because of poverty - We provide sustenance for you and for them; come not near to Al-Fawâhish whether committed openly or secretly, and kill not anyone whom Allâh has forbidden, except for a just cause….

And when the Arabic seems to suggest Muhammad has slaves (instead of God)!

39: 53. Say: 'O my slaves who have transgressed against themselves despair not of the Mercy of Allâh…'

But sometimes the original Arabic is so nonsensical that some translators have abandoned Jerome's tactic and felt obliged to help Allah out...Here's 35:8 without any help

Is he, to whom the evil of his deeds made fairseeming, so that he considers it as good? Therefore, Allâh sends astray whom He wills, and guides whom He wills. So destroy not yourself in sorrow for them…. 

And here's the same verse with "helpful" additions in brackets by Assad, Yusuf Ali and Picktall

 Is, then, he to whom the evil of his own doings is [so] alluring that [in the end] he regards it as good [anything but a follower of Satan]? For, verily, God lets go astray him that wills [to go astray], and guides whom he will...

 Is he, then, to whom the evil of his conduct is made alluring, so that he looks upon it as good, (equal to one who is rightly guided)? For Allah leaves to stray whom He wills, and guides whom He wills.  

Is he, the evil of whose deeds is made fair seeming unto him so that he deemeth it good, (other than Satan's dupe)? Allah verily sendeth whom He will astray, and guideth whom He will

 Is it any wonder then that Islamic apologists and scholars have wanted to guard the secrets of the Qur'an by stressing the impossibility of translating it (in much the same way the Catholic church for centuries fought against translating the Bible into a language the common man and woman could understand. 


In his book al-Itqan, Al Suyuti says,

"It is utterly inadmissible for the Qur’an to be read in languages other than Arabic, whether the reader masters the language or not, during the prayer time or at other times, lest the inimitability of the Qur’an is lost.

 The same principle is followed by those who worked on the English authorized translation. They said (page iii),

"The Qur’an cannot be translated—that is the belief of traditional Sheikhs (religious leaders). The Arabic Qur’an is an inimitable symphony, the very sounds of which move men to tears and ecstasy." 

The Qur'an can be translated. It's just that when it is, the full extent and import of its errors become visible for all to see.

Persecute the gays! ... says Muslim DJ on Ramadam Special

I don't normally do stories like this but sometimes rules a made to be broken 

Reproduced from the National Secular Society:

Muslim radio station fined £4,000 for saying homosexuals should be tortured and beaten up

A Muslim radio station in Leeds has been fined £4,000 by the media regulator Ofcom after one of its presenters said that homosexuals should be tortured and beaten up.

Rubina Nasir told listeners to Asian Fever's Sister Ruby Ramadan Special in 2011:

"What should be done if they do it? [practise homosexuality]. If there are two such persons among you, that do this evil, the shameful act, what do you have to do? Torture them; punish them; beat them and give them mental torture. Allah states, 'If they do such a deed [i.e. homosexuality], punish them, both physically and mentally.

"Mental punishment means rebuke them, beat them, humiliate them, admonish and curse them, and beat them up. This command was sent in the beginning because capital punishment had not yet been sent down."

The following day she said:

"What happens when a Muslim man or woman gets married to a Mushrak [a follower of another religion]. Listeners! Marriage of a Muslim man or woman with a Mushrak is the straight path to hellfire. Have my sisters and brothers, who live with people of bad religions or alien religions, ever thought about what would become of the children they have had with them – and the coming generation?

"Where the filth of shirk (the sin of following another religion) is present, where the dirt of shirk is present, where the heart is impure, how can you remove apparent filth. How many arrangements will you make to remove the apparent filth? We are saying that Mushraks have no concept of cleanliness and uncleanliness."

She was on air while giving her interpretation of a Qur'anic verse and Ofcom got an independent translation from the original Urdu into English.

Ofcom said it regarded the comments as serious breaches of the broadcasting code and therefore a financial penalty should be imposed.

It added: "The content of the programme broadcast on 17 August 2011 included two statements which Ofcom considered were likely to encourage or to incite the commission of crime against homosexuals and were likely to encourage others to copy unacceptable behaviour towards homosexuals."

Despite the severity of the breach, the regulator said that it "would not be appropriate to shorten, suspend or revoke Radio Asian Fever's licence".

Responding to the fine, Jabbar Karim, Managing Director at Asian Fever radio, said: "We at Fever FM would like to sincerely apologise to the gay community and to everyone else who have found this news disturbing. This was a one-off incident which will never be repeated."

Speed of light (32:5) miracle examined...half-heartedly.

Some Muslims (let's call them bucailleists) insist that verse 32:5 in the Qur'an, if properly interpreted, can be seen to refer to the speed of light, and thus prove beyond doubt that the Qur'an is divinely inspired.

Here is 32:5 (in the translation preferred by the bucailleists):

He regulates the affair from the heaven to the earth; then shall it ascend to Him in a day the measure of which is a thousand years of what you count.

another (Assad) translation runs like this:

He governs all that exists, from the celestial space to the earth; and in the end all shall ascend unto Him [for judgment] on a Day the length whereof will be [like] a thousand years of your reckoning 

"Whoa! Hang on!" I hear you say. "How on Earth do you manage to get the speed of light from that?!"
Now believe me - I understand your incredulity, but let's examine the claim in detail to see how and why so many apparently sensible and sane people have been convinced.
Their reasoning goes as follows: what you count refers to the movement of the moon since, the claim goes, the moon is what the people used to help them count time -what you count. Let's stop for a moment and consider our first, and to my mind, insurmountable objection.

First objection - the translation "a thousand years of what you count" cannot, in a thousand years of ours or anybody else's time, ever be made to mean the distance traveled by the  moon.

The Qur'an is supposed to be clear. If Allah had meant us to understand the distance covered by the moon by 32:5, there is no reason why he should not have said exactly that. It's hardly a difficult notion to grasp, after all. The people of the desert could have understood it. The verse is simply referring to Allah's immensity by comparing how a short period time to him is a long time to us.
Let's look at some other translations:
He directeth the ordinance from the heaven unto the earth; then it ascendeth unto Him in a Day, whereof the measure is a thousand years of that ye reckon. (Picktall)
He rules (all) affairs from the heavens to the earth: in the end will (all affairs) go up to Him, on a Day, the space whereof will be (as) a thousand years of your reckoning.(Ali)
He manages and regulates (every) affair from the heavens to the earth; then it (affair) will go up to Him, in one Day, the space whereof is a thousand years of your reckoning (i.e. reckoning of our present world's time) (Khan)
He arranges [each] matter from the heaven to the earth; then it will ascend to Him in a Day, the extent of which is a thousand years of those which you count.(Saheeh International)
Él dispone en el cielo todo lo de la tierra. Luego, todo ascenderá a Él en un día equivalente en duración a mil años de los vuestros. (Julio Cortes) ("equivalent in duration to a thousand of your years")
And I could go on and on, but the point has been made. No other translator ever thought to suggest the line referred to anything other than time.
To stretch the meaning in such a way that the what of what you count refers not just to the moon but the distance traveled by the moon is patently ridiculous. But when has that ever stopped the desperate attempts of the miracle seekers? 

But what could possibly have put this notion into the heads of the miracle seekers in the first place? A slight but hardly accurate or earth shattering coincidence is what.

Second objection - a coincidence Jim - but not as we know it.  Somewhere in the vast reaches of space there are desperate people hopefully trawling through the 300 odd pages of the Qur'an in the hope of finding ...SCIENCE. And you don't get mush more "sciencey" than the speed of light. So when some sad geek came up with the notion that if one takes the distance traveled by the moon in a thousand years and worked out how quickly it would have to go to travel the same distance in a day and realised that one gets something approximating  to the speed of light... he saw a gold dust. Now I say approximating because in fact when one does the maths we find that rather than the figure being 299 792 458 m / s (the actual speed of light) we get 266 815 288 m/s a difference of a whopping 32 977 170 m/s (11%). Now even the most ardent miracle seeker would have to admit that should he have meant to show us a miracle by revealing the speed of light hidden in a verse in the Qur'an then Allah should have done the bloody maths a bit better. Which leads us to our third objection...

Third objection - skew the physics to fit the need. Now, of course the bucailleists were aware of this difference. Here's a quote from the most professional (if I can use such a word in this context) speed-of-light site: 

when we compare the nominal speed of light with 12000 Lunar Orbits / Earth Day inside the gravitational field of the sun (non-inertial frame) we get 11% difference

So they admit  to the difference: either the moon is "too slow" or the speed of light is "too fast" - by a margin of approximately 33 million m/s!
How then do they get around this seemingly insurmountable problem? The clue is in the word nominal- meaning in name only...not actual/real.  It's only the supposed speed, they say. To find the real speed of the moon or of light is a bit more tricky.
In fact a bit more tricky is an understatement since their explanation requires a knowledge of advanced physics, the Theory of General Relativity (notice how Muslims are happy to accept "theories" when it suits them but reject the "theory" of evolution as "just a theory"because it contradicts the Qur'an...), "ocean friction", and the difference between inertial and non-inertial frames of reference.

Now I was going to examine all of the above but to be honest I've sort of lost the will to carry on - and I've got side-tracked of late by (another) shocking mail from my convert friend who still thinks that 9-11 and 7-7 were not terrorist outrages carried out by Muslim extremists but rather were false flag operations by Mossad and US and UK services.

So that's what's coming next. Be warned...

Angels and wormholes in the Qur'an - would you believe it!

It seems my last post rattled a few cages - and at least one reader remains convinced that angels travel at the speed of light and this amazing fact is miraculously revealed in the Qur'an.

So to try to drive the point home (I was hoping not to have to do this because this bit is just plain embarrassing)  let's look at the second half of the claim (yes -we only did half of it!) and see if it becomes any easier for the miracle seekers to agree that it's all - for want of a euphemism - b*llocks... There is no maths or science in this part because....well because there isn't any maths or science in the claim to rebut in the first place (despite the impressively whizzing ballcock in the cartoon wormhole and phrases such as time dilation and neutron stars -oo-er!) It's all hocus-pocus and wild unsubstantiated nonsense which is essentially meaningless - so my carefully researched and impartial explanations (in red for ease of identification) won't tax your brains too much.
Note to miracle seekers: this is just a bit of fun (since this deserves nothing more). A proper debunk of the one day - one thousand years speed of light claim (which seems to excite the bucailleists) to follow...

Inside gravitational fields: This time dilation shows angels crossing a wormhole (معراج) at a few meters/sec.This is a picture of a wormhole. There was me thinking wormholes were tricky concepts to grasp, but your graphic has cleared it all up, fellas. There it goes - boing! Oooh!- there it goes again - boing! The Quran says that angels use these wormholes to reach any place in the universe. Where? WHERE? I just love the way you lot make these preposterous claims with (presumably) a straight face and an expectation that your poor gullible readers will be so impressed with your jargon that they'll just swallow it all... An observer outside gravitational fields sees (SEES? are you sure?) those angels passing by him at 99.99999...% of the speed of light (relativistic speeds, very close to the local speed of light), that is at 299792.457999...km/s. Spot the deliberate mistake? Fellas, these angels are travelling at the speed of light, remember? But when those angels enter the gravitational field of a wormhole this observer still sees (!!) those angels entering the wormhole at 99.99999...% of the speed of light however that would no longer be at 299792.457999...km/s. This is because in the presence of gravity the speed of light becomes relative. Ah - yes - relativity. I'm just amazed Einstein didn't "revert" as soon as he'd thought of his General Theory and was told of these verses in the Qur'an.  If he sees the speed of light in a wormhole at 10 meters/sec, for example, then he would see those angels traveling at only 9.999999...meters/sec, flapping their wings in slow motion, reddish in color and very dim (and in turn they would see him in fast motion, bluish in color and very bright).Yup - I'm picturing it now. It's so much easier to believe now that I can see the angel "flapping his wings".And by the way, have you thought why an angel would need wings in a vacuum? A smaller time dilation (say 100 or 1000 years vs. one day) can also occur if we stand on Earth and angels stand on a neutron star (or resist their fall into a neutron star; gravitational time dilation). This just gets better and better - angels standing on neutron stars!  The guy obviously thought, "No-one's going to read this far. I can basically just say what I want. Let's shove an angel on a neutron star. I bet I can get them to swallow that!" This makes their velocity relative to us to be zero (and not 299792.457999... km/s). But naturally occurring wormholes connect distant black holes; however at a lower time dilation (100 or 1000 years vs. one day) the two entrances of the wormhole cannot connect; hence a wormhole cannot form. Do try to keep up at the back - they'll be a test at the end. So with the time dilation stated in the Quran (50,000 years vs. 1 day) Oh! I love it. The sheer chutzpah of the seamless segue into  "time dilation" and the fact that angels are moving then those angels have to be crossing a wormhole. Cuh! Obvious isn't it, when it's explained to you! The angels "have to be crossing a wormhole" because no other explanation makes sense! The pulsar scenario or any other combination cannot do. Damn! - and there I was, hoping to use the ol' "pulsar scenario"... Learn more (what...more??) Quran 32.5 is time vs distance; this gives us speed of angels which turned out to be the speed of light. However Quran 22.47 and Quran 70.4 are time vs time (no distance); this is time dilation. We know from Einstein that my clock and your clock will not run at the same rate. Time (or rate of our clocks) depend on acceleration and/or gravity. If my clock accelerates and/or is in a strong gravitational field then it will run slower than your clock. So time is relative. Quran 22.47 compares time of Earth with time at Paradise/Hell (1 day vs 1000 years). While Quran 70.4 compares time on Earth with time in wormholes (1 day vs 50,000 years).How could an illiterate man who lived 1400 years ago have figured out Time Dilation and the core of Relativity? How indeed! It'll just have to remain a mystery. Because this is the biggest load of cretinously inane, pompously soporific, unadulterated gibberish I have ever read. 

And let's not forget the three simple phrases (which incidentally contradict each other and thus prove the Qur'an is of human origin) whence all this pseudo scientific guff originated:

And [so, O Muhammad,] they challenge thee to hasten the coming upon them of [God’s] chastisement: but God never fails to fulfill His promise - and, behold, in thy Sustainer’s sight a day is like a thousand years of your reckoning. 22:47
He governs all that exists, from the celestial space to the earth; and in the end all shall ascend unto Him [for judgment] on a Day the length whereof will be [like] a thousand years of your reckoning. 32:5
all the angels and all the inspiration [ever granted to man] ascend unto Him [daily,] in a day the length whereof is [like] fifty thousand years… 70:4

and which were (depending on your preference) plagiarised from/inspired by the Bible in any case!

For a thousand years in your sight  are like a day that has just gone by, or like a watch in the night. Psalm 90:4

But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day.2 Peter 3:8

Give me strength.

Special relativity and speed of light miracle in Qur'an...debunked!

the speed of light = 299 792 458 m / s

A reader of Rational Islam? has asked me to look at a surprisingly common miracle claim: that the speed of light is foretold in the Qur'an. "Varma", whose blog has the admirably succinct title, Debunking Bucailleism, and which I thoroughly recommend, referred me to this Islamic miracle seeker site, Miracles in the Qur'an and to this miracle claim in particular.
Here's the introduction:

We know from Einstein that my clock and your clock will not run at the same rate. Time (or rate of our clocks) depends on acceleration and/or gravity. If my clock accelerates and/or is in a strong gravitational field then it will run slower than your clock. So time is relative. Quran 22.47 compares time of Earth with time at Paradise/Hell (1 day vs 1000 years); while Quran 70.4 compares time on Earth with time in wormholes (1 day vs 50,000 years).

And here's 70:4:

The angels and the Spirit ascend to Him in a day, the measure of which is fifty thousand years.

Now, call me an old nit-picker if you wish, but I don't spot any mention of worm-holes here. But perhaps I'm just being too literal ... expecting to read the phrase worm-hole when a claim is made that "the Qur'an compares time on earth with time in worm-holes".  Anyhow, let's see how the miracle claim continues. (Don't worry - it's not as bad as it looks!)

Here angels will experience 1 day while humans will measure it as 50,000 years (time vs. time and not time vs. distance as the other lunar verse). This can happen if:1) Angels accelerate to relativistic speeds.2) Angels are in a strong gravitational field.1) Outside gravitational fields: This agrees with Einstein’s theory of special relativity, which says that a faster moving object appears to experience slower time. Moslems use Einstein’s theory of special relativity with the following verse in the Quran to check whether those angels really accelerate up to the speed of light or not. Given this time difference (time dilation) we can calculate the speed at which that object traveled. We can verify if those angels really accelerate up to the speed of light, as claimed by Moslems, or not. Outside gravitational fields this speed turned out to be 99.99999999999981% of the speed of light:(Where ∆t_o is the time measured for a mover by a mover; ∆t is the time measured for a mover by a stationary frame; v is the velocity of the mover relative to the stationary observer):∆t_o is the time experienced by angels (1 day).∆t is the time as measured by humans (50,000 lunar years x12 lunar months/lunar year x 27.321661 days/lunar month).v is the velocity of angels in this case (which we intend to calculate and then compare to the known speed of light).c is the nominal speed of light 299792.458 km/s.From the above equation we can solve for the unknown velocity:   This time dilation (time difference) shows that angels indeed accelerate to relativistic speeds; outside gravitational fields this is the same speed calculated from the previous lunar verse also outside gravitational fields.We cannot calculate our local speed of light from this time dilation however we can calculate at what percentage of the speed of light those angels are traveling relative to an observer on Earth. By this we can compare a time dilation (50,000 years vs. one day) with a speed (12000 Lunar Orbits/Earth Day). We can do this by translating both of them to a common speed in km/sec. Outside gravitational fields 50,000 years vs. one day shows angels traveling at 12000 Lunar Orbits/Earth Day; it is the same speed in km/sec.

Oh boy! Where do we start? This all looks a bit daunting doesn't it? Isn't easier just to accept what we're being told and BELIEVE? That's exactly what the miracle seekers expect you to do...

I'll try to keep this simple.

The equation states that the speed of angels is equal to the speed of light divided by 1 minus the sum of: 1 divided by 16,392,000 (50,000 x 12 x 27.32) squared. 
Let's do the math (as the Americans say):
One divided by a very large number is a very small number - so one divided by 16.4  million is very, very small number indeed.
If we then square a number smaller than 1 we get an even smaller number. 
If we take an exceptionally small number away from 1 we will always get very, very, very nearly 1.

In other words, the very large number we start with (which the miracle seeker in this case has taken from a random verse in the Qur'an) can be just about anything over 100 and you will arrive at the desired answer (depending on how close to 1 you want to get).

If you don't believe me, let's put a totally different set of numbers into the equation and see if we come up with... the speed of light!
Here's a verse from the Holy Book of Spinoza which describes how long a day is for my magic hamster:

His Magic Hamster ascended to him in a day - the measure of which 37 years

37 x 365 = 13, 505. 
1 divided by 13, 505 =  0.000007405. 
Now let's square that ...which equals 0.000000000007505. 
Now lets take that away from 1. Wow - it's very nearly 1 (0.9999999999245)! 
Now if we times the speed of light by 0.9999999999245 we get.... 

299 792 547. 977 m/s!

So I am now claiming my magic hamster miraculously travels at very nearly the speed of light and therefore you must worship me!

Either the author of this miracle claim knows no maths whatsoever, or he (and I'd bet my house it's a he) is a  lying charlatan who knows full well what he's doing  - which is trying to mislead gullible, vulnerable people into believing Islam is rational and scientific. 

What a despicable b*stard.

PS If you're a Muslim and still believe the speed of light is contained in the Qur'an do please get in touch. 
Or failing that, you could try thinking for yourself.

When Islam discusses the deficiencies of women...

Sheik al-Zindani explains why women can't talk and remember at the same time

The following is taken from an answering-christianity.com article by a "recent convert" to Islam, "Karim", wherein the author makes a valiant attempt to explain away the infamous Bukhari sahih ahadith which seems to tell us that the Prophet thought women were less intellectually capable than men: (Mohammed asked some women, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half that of a man?" The women said, "yes," He said,"This is because of the deficiency of the woman's mind. " Vol. 3:826 Mohammed to women: "I have not seen any one more deficient in intelligence and religion than you*." Vol. 2:541)

Let's see how poor old "Karim" tries to defend the indefensible...

When Islam discusses the deficiencies of women, it is neither insulting them nor belittling them. Note to self: Must try this with Mrs Spinoza - "Darling, when I'm discussing your deficiencies, I'm not belittling you. It's evidently your paltry intellect which leads you to misunderstand me..." Some men, unfortunately, do precisely that when they quote the words of the Prophet (peace be upon him) that women "have a deficiency in their intellect and their religion". They take these words out of context as a means of oppressing women and putting them down. Really?  Who'd have thought it? The Prophet (peace be upon him) meant something quite different. Oh? Do go on...He said: "I have never seen among those who have a deficiency in their intellect and their religion anyone more capable than women of swaying the intellect of the most determined of men." He is actually asserting here the power of women to influence men and sway their opinion. This is one of the distinctions that women, in their natures, have. Yes - but he is ALSO saying that women are a group characterised by their deficient intellects. Now who could POSSIBLY find offence in that? 

He then went on to define precisely what he meant by these deficiencies. Listen, Muhammad old chap, as Mrs S says - when you're in a hole, just stop digging! In the remainder of the hadîth, some women asked him: "O Messenger of Allah, what is this deficiency in our intelligence and religion?" What a pity the hadith doesn't report the tone of the question of these long-suffering women .."Oh Messenger of Allah - do tell us why we're so stupid, won't you?" He replied: "Isn't it that a woman's testimony as a witness is half of the testimony of man?" They said: "Yes." He said: "This, then, is the deficiency in her intelligence. Q: Why is a woman's testimony worth half of that of a man? A: Because she is deficient in intellect Q: How do we know a woman is deficient in intellect? A: Because her testimony is worth half that of a man. Isn't it true that when she is in her menses, she leaves off prayers and fasting?" They said: "Yes." "Yes"?? Sisters! Come on for f*ck's sake! "Yes"?!? Is that all you can manage? "Must be your time of the month, dear!" "Oh- thank you for pointing that out. Thank goodness I have a clever, intellectual man in the house to remind me of these things." Jeez! He said: "This is the deficiency in her religion."

The Prophet, peace be upon him, simply used this phrase “deficient in mind and religion” to alert them to what he wanted to say to them. Er - as opposed to using words to confuse them, perhaps? The Prophet, peace be upon him, frequently uses such a method, inserting some words that may not be relevant to the point he wants to stress, so that they serve to attract the attention of his audience. OMG, girls! - he WAS using words to confuse you!

And what about the hadith which says Muhammad saw that the majority of those dwelling in Hell were women? This should be good...How are you going to argue your way out of this one, "Karim"?

To start with, the Hadith does not say that most women are in hell. It says that the majority of hell dwellers are women, which simply signifies that more women fail in this worldly test than men. And you think that's somehow BETTER?! Then the Prophet, peace be upon him, points out their failure, which I'm sure went down REALLY well...which is not based on denying God. Rather, it is denying kindness, particularly in marital situations. Here's the spade...there's the hole - we'll just leave you to it, oh Prophet. The Prophet, peace be upon him, has pointed this out in more than one Hadith, warning women against grumbling and frequent complaints. I do the same, Muhammad - but do they listen? Do they? No! They just carry on moaning and whingeing and complaining and...she's standing behind me, isn't she...He is also warning them here against denying kindness by their husbands, highlighting a failing that is often expressed in denying past kindness.

Now all this patronising drivel may seem risible to those of us lucky enough to live without the hegemony of a ridiculous, medieval, clerical diktat. And indeed ridicule is often the only weapon we have to combat the evil of such hateful misogyny. But at the risk of sounding trite - remember that there are influential people, like Sheik al-Zindani in the video, at the heart of Islam who still regard it as acceptable to say (for example) that women are incapable of talking and remembering at the same time. And they use Muhammad's sayings and actions as reported in the ahadith (such as the ones above) to spread their obnoxious beliefs.  

Embryology in the Qur'an -"mudghah" or "chewed flesh"?

Here's the frontispiece of Hamza Tzortzis' (chief miracle seeker of the iERA, Islamic Education and research Academy) turgid study of embryology in the Qur'an. Notice the picture chosen to illustrate the study. Seem familiar? Of course it does...

...because it comes from the infamous illustration in Moore and Sheik al Zindani's text book, The Developing Human (3rd edition with Islamic Additions). The illustration appears in countless Islamic websites (and was copied in the first mail my convert friend sent to me to "explain" how miraculous the Qur'an was.) The picture is supposed to convince Muslims and putative converts that the verse 23:14 (“...Then of that leech-like structure, We made a chewed lump.”) predicts microscopic knowledge impossible for anyone in the 7th century Arabia to know. Notice how the somites (the segmental mass of mesoderm which look like the vertebrae) are particularly noticeable in the clinical illustration and which are equated with the chew marks on the picture of the piece of gum.

Now study the following photographs of three actual 28 day embryos. 

One is the embryo of a cat, one of a pig and one of a human. 

Spot the difference? It's tricky because at this stage there really is none. (The zygotes and early embryos of mammals are virtually indistinguishable from each other until the organogenesis process begins and the embryo begins to assume its future characteristics. This is an awkward fact for those who believe that humans were specially created by God and that we don't share common ancestors.) 

But where are the somites, those structures so evident in the clinical illustration beloved of the miracle seekers? Well they're there, of course, but they hardly look like the tooth marks in the piece of gum added by al-Zindani for the Islamic edition of Moore's text book, because they are internal structures.

In fact, the embryos look nothing like the chewed gum picture. 

The phrase "chewed lump" is not miraculous; it is not even particularly apt; it is inaccurate. How ironic that the miracle seekers should have drawn our attention to a translation of a verse that suggests that the author of the Qur'an was a fallible human being.

Of course, the further irony is that, as the guys at embryologyinthequran.blogspot have so clearly and tellingly pointed out, the arabic word mudghah doesn't mean chewed flesh anyway.

The actual definition is that it is a noun for something that is intended or suitable for chewing (such as a small “piece of meat”).

Here's the definition from The Hans Wehr Dictionary:

Thus we have a lunatic (al-Zindani) - renowned for his bizarre pronouncements (cure for AIDS etc.) and for his dubious and desperate attempts to con/buy western scientific respectability for his weird ideas - spotting Moore's clinical illustration of a 28 day embryo and thinking that the somites looked vaguely like teeth marks.

He adds a picture of a piece of chewing gum and hey-presto! - A MIRACLE!

What he forgot/didn't realise is: 

1. the embryo is approximately the same size as a grain of rice (4.5 mm!! - hardly a lump of flesh!)

2. the somites aren't nearly as visible as in the clinical illustration

3. that if they were visible at all, they'd be convex if anything, not concave like actual bite marks!

4. and that the word mudgah doesn't mean chewed lump anyway, but rather a lump/piece of meat of a size suitable for chewing

Those who choose to base their belief in God upon such dubious descriptions and inaccurate translations are fooling themselves, and their self-deception is aided and encouraged by idiots like Tzortzis and his acolytes at iERA who continue to spout this nonsense about tooth marks on the embryo.

PS I thoroughly recommend this site if you want to see further wonderful pictures of embryonic development.

Test the message! - Read the ahadith!

Back to the major dawah initiative of the moment at iERA (Islamic Education and Research Academy) : Don't shoot the messenger!Test the Message! Here's a typically rebarbative article in which the guys set out to protect the Prophet's reputation by telling us why it's impossible not to believe the ahadith (the actions and saying of Muhammad). It starts with a decidedly questionable statement:

The main contention against Muhammad’s (peace be upon him) prophet-hood is that the narratives concerning his life are not valid sources of knowledge.

Not at all, chaps... The main contention against Muhammad's prophet-hood is:
i.  the bizarrely repetitive, sometimes homophobic and misogynistic, and often plagiarised content of his message as found in the Qur'an and 
ii. those very narratives concerning his life and sayings you seem intent on having us believe
In other words, most of us are quite happy to accept, if you insist, that these narratives are genuine. We will even follow your expertise in distinguishing the genuine (sahih) narrations (or ahadith) from those with a less than perfect chain of narration, since so many of even the "genuine" (sahih) ahadith contain damning insights into Muhammad's strangely pagan-like beliefs and dubious character.

Never ones to under-sell their message, iERA then go on to list in excruciating detail why the ahadith are beyond doubt, and finish with the following (truly wonderful) claim:

In light of the above, to reject the narratives that elucidate on the life of the Prophet Muhammad (upon whom be peace) would be tantamount to rejecting all known historical truths because the science of hadith is far more thorough than the methodologies used is western history.

OK! OK! - calm down, fellas! I'll read and believe in the authenticity of the ahadith, as you're so insistent. So let's have a look at some of them...

The following sahih hadith are taken from Islam Review and are solely from Sahih Al-Bukhari, regarded by Sunni Muslims (like the chaps at iERA) as the most reliable and authentic collection of ahadith. I'll just reiterate: these are the ahadith that iERA insist are as true (or truer) "than all known historical truths" and help to prove that Muhammad was God's prophet...

WOMEN

Women are deficient in mind and religion.


• Mohammed asked some women, "Isn't the witness of a woman equal to half that of a man?" The women said, "yes," He said,"This is because of the deficiency of the woman's mind. " Vol. 3:826
• Mohammed to women: "I have not seen any one more deficient in intelligence and religion than you*." Vol. 2:541
The majority of people in hell are women.

• Mohammed said, "I was shown the Hell-fire and that the majority of its dwellers are women. " Vol. 1:28, 301; Vol. 2:161; Vol. 7:124
Women are a bad omen.

• Mohammed said, " Bad omen is in the woman, the house and the horse." Vol. 7:30
Women are harmful to men.

• Mohammed said, "After me I have not left any affliction more harmful to men than women." Vol. 7:33
Women may not wear wigs.

• Mohammed said, " Don't wear false hair for Allah sends His curse upon such ladies who lengthen their hair artificially." Vol. 7:133

top

SEX AND MARRIAGE

Mohammed's sexual strength is equal to 30 men.

• Anas said, "The prophet used to visit all his wives in an hour round, during the day and night and they were eleven in number." I asked Anas, "Had the prophet the strength for it?"Anas replied, "We used to say that the prophet was given the strength of thirty (men). " Vol. 1:268
Mohammed married a 9 year old girl.

• "Narrated Aisha that the prophet married her when she was six years old and he consummated his marriage when she was nineyears old."Vol. 7:64
Allah hurries to please Mohammed's sexual desires.

• When the Quranic verse that allows Mohammed to postpone the turn of any wife was revealed, and when Mohammed said that Allah allowed him to marry his adopted son's wife, Aisha (one of his wives) told him, "O Allah's Apostle I do not see but that your Lord hurries in pleasing you. " Vol. 7:48
When a woman is divorced irrevocably, she cannot return to her husband until she marries (including having sexual intercourse) with another man.

• "Narrated Aisha: The wife of Rifaa Al-Qurazi came to Allah's Apostle and said, 'O Allah's Apostle, Rifaa divorced me irrevocably. After him I married Abdur-Rahman bin Az-Zubair Al-Qurazi who proved to be impotent.' Allah's Apostle said to her, 'Perhaps you want to return to Rifaa? Nay (You cannot return to Rifaa) until you and Abdur-Rahman (the impotent man) engage in sexual intercourse!" Vol. 7:186  

top

HUMAN RIGHTS

Islam is to be imposed by force.

• Mohammed said, "I have been ordered to fight with the people till they say, "None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, and whoever says, " None has the right to be worshipped but Allah, his life and property will be saved by me." (otherwise it will not). Vol. 4:196
Apostasy is punishable by death.

• Mohammed said, "Whoever changes his Islamic religion, kill him." Vol. 9:57
A Muslim must not be killed if he kills a non-Muslim.

• Mohammed said, " No Muslim should be killed for killing a Kafir" (infidel). Vol. 9:50
Ethnic cleansing is practiced.

• Mohammed said to the Jews, "You should know that the earth belongs to Allah and His Apostle (Mohammed) and I want to expel you from this land (The Arabian Peninsula), so, if anyone owns property, he is permitted to sell it." Vol. 4:392
• Mohammed's last words at his deathbed were: "Turn the pagans (non-Muslims) out of the Arabian Peninsula." Vol. 5:716  

top

ETERNAL SECURITY

No assurance of Salvation.

• Mohammed said. "By Allah, though I am the apostle of Allah, yet I do not know what Allah will do to me." Vol. 5:266
God punishes a deceased if his relatives weep.

• Mohammed said, "The deceased is punished because of the weeping of his relatives." Vol. 2:375
When you speak badly about a deceased, the deceased will go to hell.

• Mohammed said, "You praised this, so Paradise has been affirmed to him, and you spoke badly of this, so hell has been affirmed to him. You people are Allah's witnesses on earth." Vol. 2:448
Urine on your clothes will bring punishment from God.

• Mohammed said, "The deceased person is being tortured in the grave not for a great thing to avoid, it is for being soiled with his urine. " Vol. 2:460
Holy war (Jihad) is a guarantee of heaven.

• Mohammed said, "The person who participates in (Holy battles) in Allah's cause and nothing compels him to do so except belief in Allah and His Apostle, will be recompensed by Allah either with a reward, or booty (if he survives) or will be admitted to paradise (if he is killed). " Vol. 1:35

top

MEDICINE

Drinking camel's urine will make you healthy.

• "The prophet ordered them to follow his camels, and drink their milk and urine , so they followed the camels and drank their milk and urine till their bodies became healthy." Vol. 7:590
Fever is from the heat of hell.

• Mohammed said, " Fever is from the heat of hell, so put it out (cool it) with water." Vol. 7:619
A fly in your drink is a cure.

• Mohammed said, "If a housefly falls in the drink of anyone of you, he should dip it (in the drink), for one of its wings has a disease and the other has the cure for the disease. " Vol. 4:537
How the baby's looks are determined.

• Mohammed said, "As for the child, if the man's discharge precedes the woman's discharge, the child attracts the similarity of the man, and if the woman's discharge precedes the man's, then the child attracts the similarity of the woman." Vol. 5:275

top

MISCELLANEOUS

If you eat garlic don't come to the place of worship.

• Mohammed said, "Whosoever ate from this plant (i.e. garlic) should not enter the mosque." Vol. 1:812
Effect of evil eye

• Mohammed said, "The effect of an evil eye is a fact. " Vol. 7:636
Which shoe you should put on first.

• Mohammed said, "If you want to put on your shoes, put on the right shoe first, and if you want them off, take the left one first."Vol. 7:747
Breathing in your drink is bad.

• Mohammed said, "Don't breath into your drinking utensil."Vol. 1:156
God frightens his devotees with eclips.

• Mohammed said, "The sun and the moon are two signs amongst the signs of Allah and they do not eclipse because of the death of someone but Allah frightens His devotees with them. " Vol. 2:158

Satan urinates in people's ears, when they don't wake up for prayer.

• Narrated Abdullah: the prophet was told that a person had kept on sleeping till morning and had not got up for the prayer. The prophet said, "Satan urinated in his ears." Vol. 2:245

Yawning is from Satan.

• The prophet said, "Yawning is from Satan and if anyone of you yawns, he should check his yawning as much as possible, for if anyone of yuo (during the act of yawning) should say: "Ha", Satan will laugh at him." Vol. 2:158

Stars are missiles which God uses to hit the devils.

• The creation of stars is for three purposes, i.e., as decoration of the sky, as missiles to hit the devils, and as signs to guide travelers. Vol. 2:15

 Let's not forget, lest we are tempted to regard these sayings and actions as a bizarre but ultimately unreliable and therefore unimportant part of Islam, that if we do, then according to iERA,

all other established historical narratives must be rejected, including World War One, the battle of Hastings and the Norman invasion of Britain! 

So let me get this clear. If we DON'T believe that Muhammad had sex with a nine year-old, or told his followers to kill apostates, or thought that a fly's wing was a curative or that women have deficient minds.... then we might as well deny WWI happened?

Goodness - I truly love you guys at iERA sometimes!

*for an Islamic explanation this "most misquoted and misunderstood hadith" (the one where Muhammad says women are deficient in intellect etc) please click here. No really, PLEASE do.